The thing about judging someone or even judging harshly something you don’t like about someone – some trait or habit or attitude – is that people grow. With growth comes maturity. With growth comes change. While it’s true that some people “never seem” to change, there is still hope for them. IN the long run, wouldn’t you rather be known as that person that cut people slack? That went the extra mile? That showed grace? That were slow to judgment and quick to reconcile?
It’s amazing how arrogant I can get or how easily I can get “turned off” to a person due to observing a character flaw of theirs. Sometimes criticism can be golden. If criticism is taken to heart, it can effect change. I am ashamed to admit that sometimes I easily write someone off based upon observed character flaws.
Sometimes all a person needs is encouragement and confidence. These are things that can come about through verbal praise, silent support and good, old encouragement. I’ve seen it happen a number of times. It’s weird how lack of confidence can hold someone back. I remember being an average athlete in high school. Nothing special. In the backyard or open fields with my friends, I could make catches and cover people effectively. Having fun I could do my “job” of catching the ball. But put me in front of a stadium full of people and my hands became like bricks. I was so consumed with the idea that people were watching me that I failed to perform up to my average ability. I heard our coaches say it more than once – “In high school football, it’s 90% confidence and 10% skill.” Part of that sunk in, but not enough to have me ever catch a pass in a game.
One of my pastors in the early days of Heaven’s Metal magazine shared with me that “we all thought you were crazy when you said you wanted to start a magazine,” but you prove d us wrong. I’m glad they kept silent about their doubts, but their words of encouragement along the way were huge helps to me.
I feel stings … maybe I should phrase that: “I feel stung” when someone asks me a question about evaluating a band being “Christian anymore” or something like that. When a human being that is an artist makes some poor choices, vents bitterness or even doubt about their faith, openly criticizes the body of Christ, etc, then sometimes I’ll get questions due to my position as music magazine editor. Maybe I know or have some firsthand knowledge of whether or not this person or band is “still a Christian band.” I want to say, “I don’t know. Is Billy Graham still a Christian?” I mean, brother Billy is a human. He could wake up one day, decide to believe some lies whispered in his ear and flip someone off that cuts him off in traffic. Would that invalidate his Christianity? Would it write off his years of faithful ministry?
Don’t be an idiot! Of course it would not. Would it taint his ministry if he flipped someone off in public? Sure it would. Being an example can be confining in that sense. I bet Billy Graham isn’t bummed out that he can’t flip people off in his car, though. I bet that “freedom” is the last thing on his mind or his wishlist of things to do.
But every one of us are human. We are on a journey and we have from the moment of our birth until our death to live on this earth. We are so blessed to be alive. If we stray from the path for a few minutes, a few days, a few months or a few years, that is just a temporary glitch on the map of our life. If people around us are quick to judge and give us the “left foot of fellowship,” then that is sad. It is a bummer that those people are close to us. They’re not helping. They’re hurting. They’re wrong. They’re trigger-happy. They suck.
It’s too bad that sometimes I’m one of “them.”
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