love-sunset

Today’s chapter is called “Love agrees in prayer.”
Check out how powerfully the chapter starts:

If someone told you that by changing one thing about your marriage, you could guarantee with near 100 percent assurance that your life together would significantly improve, you would at least want to know what it was. And for many godly couples, that “one thing” is the daily practice of praying together.

Wow. What a great lead-in. This has some heavy bits in it. There’s a caveat of sorts that acknowledges that someone who “tends to devalue spiritual matters, this sounds fairly ridiculous.” I believe it. Doesn’t sound ridiculous to this guy. Here’s a good point: “It’s hard to stay angry long with someone for whom you’re praying. It’s hard not to back down when you’re hearing your mate humbly cry out to God and beg Him for mercy in the midst of your heated crisis. In prayer, two people remember that God has made them one. And in the grip of His uniting presence, disharmony blends into beauty.”

“Praying for your spouse leads your heart to care more deeply about them.”

That’s true across the board with relationships in general. Prayer has a way of softening and opening up our heart. How much more so in a marriage relationship! The chapter talks about how two voices that might be coming from two different perspectives join together in harmony. It’s a fuller sound – like music. There’s a paragraph about how the church sometimes can become a place of disharmony and disunity. This isn’t off-topic really, since the Bible parallels the church and Jesus in a marriage context. The author brings up an example about how sometimes godly church leaders will break off discussions during a time of disunity and call the church to prayer. “Instead of continuing the discord and allowing more feelings to be hurt, they will seek unity by turning their hearts back to God and appealing to Him for help.”

I like another point they bring up, too: “But prayer is for a lot more than breaking up fights. Prayer is a privilege to be enjoyed on a consistent, daily basis. When you know that prayer time awaits you before going to bed, it will change the way you spend your evening.”

Wow! Where has this advice been all my married life? That’s a great point. We are quick to prepare for the near future when we know what’s coming. We’ll anticipate things (conflict, togetherness, habits, rituals) and this is a good example of something that will bring great benefits. Even if we are apprehensive about the upcoming prayer time together, our mind, heart and spirit will many times be working behind the scenes and preparing in advance.

I love that. And the authors (Stephen & Alex Kendrick with Lawrence Kimbrough) even go out of their way to ease the expectations of this prayer time. Sometimes we can all look at “spiritual times” or prayer time specifically and be intimidated, like we’re not worthy or prepared or whatever. “Even if your prayers together are typically short and to the point, this will become a standing appointment that you can orbit your day around, keeping God in the middle of everything. It’s true that beginning a habit like this can initially feel awkward and uncomfortable. Anything this powerful will surprise you with its weight and responsibility when you actually try doing it. But bear in mind that God wants you to engage with Him – invites you, in fact – and He will grow you as you take it seriously and push past those times when you don’t know what to say.”

The conclusion ends with a powerful motivation, I think:

“You’ll look back at this common thread that ran through everything from average Mondays to major decisions and be so thankful for this “one thing” that changed everything. This is one area where it’s imperative that you agree to agree.”

Today’s Love Dare:
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.

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