“You complete me…”
“Oh, honey! You complete me, too!”
You might have heard caution against this kind of thinking. Someone with your best interests in mind wants to boost your self-esteem and prevent you from thinking of yourself as “half a person.” That’s all fine and dandy (and you are a whole person), but today we are going back and reclaiming that “YOU COMPLETE ME” concept. It’s okay. I talked to your youth pastor. ha ha
Today’s chapter is titled: “Love completes each other.”
“If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?”
–Ecclesiastes 4:11
The chapter jumps right in and explains why this is important:
God creates marriage by taking a man and a woman and uniting them as one. And although love must be willing to act alone if necessary, it is always better when it is not just a solo performance. Love can function on its own if there is no other way, but there is a “more excellent way” (1 Corinthians 12:31). And love dares not to stop loving before it gets there.
This “completing” aspect of love was revealed to mankind from the beginning. God originated the human race with a male and a female – two similar but complementary designs meant to function in harmony.
Our bodies are made for each other. Our natures and temperaments provide balance, enabling us to more effectively complete the tasks at hand. Our oneness can produce children, and our teamwork can best raiser them to health and maturity. Where one is weak, the other is strong. When one needs building up, the other is equipped to enhance and encourage. We multiply one another’s joys and divide one another’s sorrows.
The Scriptures say, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up” (Ecclesi8astes 4:9, 10). It’s like your two hands, which don’t just coexist together but multiply the effectiveness of the other. In order to do what they do, neither is quite complete without the other.
Although our differences can frequently be the source of misunderstanding and conflict, they have been created by God and can be ongoing blessings if we respect them.
I like the biblical story the book brings up as an example. On the night Pontius Pilate was presiding over the trial of Jesus, his wife sent him a message, warning him not to have anything to do with this righteous man. She had been troubled in a dream about him that night. Now, God’s sovereign plan was in motion, but here is a clear example of man ignoring his mate’s giftings and completeness, which would have helped him out.
The effectiveness of your marriage is dependent upon both of you working together. Do you have big decision to make about your finances or retirement planning? Are you having a real problem with a coworker who’s getting harder and harder to deal with, and you are grappling with the appropriate action to take? Are you absolutely convinced that your educational choices for the children are right, no matter what your spouse thinks?
Don’t try doing all the analysis yourself. Don’t disqualify his or her right to voice an opinion on matters that affect both of you. Love realizes that God has put you together on purpose. And though you may wind up disagreeing with your spouse’s perspectives, you should still give their views respect and strong consideration. This honors God’s design for your relationship and guards the oneness He intends.
Joined together, you are greater than your independent parts. You need each other. You complete each other.
Today’s Love Dare:
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
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