Today’s chapter is called Love and Marriage. It is simple in title and singularly focused in theme. It goes into a little bit of the passage in Genesis (2:24), which says, “A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” There’s some discussion about the leaving part. Some people have a tough time doing that – or perhaps you could say it’s a dysfunctional time. I have a friend whose marriage was harmed by an overbearing attempt by his church body to oversee and make sure that this leaving was carried out. I can’t remember the details, but apparently his church went overboard in breaking the ties between he and his parents. Maybe they saw something that made them react this way, but it sounds kind of cult-ish to me. I think there’s balance and it’s important not to violate one of God’s principles in order to obey another. The pendulum doesn’t always have to swing to an extreme. All the “leaving his father and mother” part really means is that his parents no longer have control over him and he’s his own man. Visiting his parents is certainly a normal and expected role. Anyway, enough about this weird sidetrack…
The cleaving part is delved into in this chapter. I like the definition:
…”Cleaving” carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your new rock of refuge and safety. This man is now the spiritual leader of your new home, tasked with the responsibility of loving you ‘just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her: (Ephesians 5:25). This woman is now one in union with you, called to “see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
As a result of this essential process, you are now free to become everything God meant when He declared you “one flesh.”
- You are able to achieve oneness in your decision making, even when you being from differing viewpoints.
- You are able to achieve oneness in your priorities, even though you’ve come together from backgrounds that could hardly be more different.
- You are able to achieve oneness in your sexual affections toward each other, even if either or both of you have memories of impurity in your pre-marital past.
God’s decision to make you “one flesh” in marriage can make anything possible.
The marriage covenant is a one-flesh covenant. Since God has defined it in such a unity/unifying/oneness way, then surely He supplies the glue and the vision that holds it together. We don’t have to muster all this effort on our own. There certainly is work, though. Any married person for any length of time will probably tell you that. I like how this chapter ends, so I’ll just type it out…
If this is not how things are going in your home right now, you’re unfortunately in the majority. It’s not out of character for couples of all kinds – even Christian couples – to ignore God’s design for marriage, thinking they know better than He does. Genesis 2:24 may have sounded nice and noble when it was wrapped around the sharing of vows at the wedding. But as a fundamental principle to be put into place and practiced as a living fact – this just seems too difficult to do. But this is what you must make any sacrifice to reclaim.
It’s hard – extremely hard – when the pursuit of oneness is basically one-sided. Your spouse may not be interested at all in recapturing the unity you had at first. Even if there is some desire on his or her part, there may still be issues between you that are nowhere close to being resolved.
But if you’ll continue to keep a passion for oneness forefront in your mind and heart, your relationship over time will begin to reflect the inescapable “one flesh” design that is printed on its DNA. You don’t have to go looking for it. It’s already there. But you do have to live it, or there’s nothing else to expect than disunity.
Leave. And cleave. And dare to walk as one.
Today’s Love Dare:
Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
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