I’ll admit it. Sometimes I’m a little smug. Sometimes I’m quick to think, “Been there. Done that.” The Love Dare chapters on getting saved have made me feel this way a little bit. I mean, I am saved. I trusted Jesus as my Savior. I still believe in Him. I cling to Him, trust in Him and rely on Him. I don’t really doubt that or feel like it’s not true. It’s like seeing a tornado up close. Those that have will never doubt the power of those extreme conditions. I’ve seen the power of God in my life. I’ve been changed.
So, as a result, it can be tempting to tune out an “altar call” or “come to Jesus” kind of message. I’ll be honest, though. Most of the time I hear an appeal to trust in Him, I’m moved. I’m touched as I’m reminded of how awesome He is.
But that wasn’t the case this time. Maybe I felt aloof. Smug. Something. I don’t know.
Today’s chapter, though, focuses on “Love always protects.”
I felt smug about this one (and the next chapter, too), because it’s easy to feel like, “I’ve conquered that. I’m not in bondage to pornography. It makes some great points about the role of protector, though.
As a spouse you should be on guard against:
harmful influences – this can be outside influences, like entertainment, or factors like crazy long work schedules that keep you two apart from each other.
unhealthy relationships – like with members of the opposite sex as well as friends that aren’t edifying or speaking wisdom into your life in the context of marriage. One example is a fishing buddy that doesn’t exactly build up your marriage relationship with his/her speech and conversation. I remember my wife having a fall-out with one of her best friends early on in our marriage. She kind of let it go after that, because she surmised that this friend wasn’t the best influence in regards to positive reinforcement about marriage.
shame – not shaming your spouse in public with information that you would know that others don’t – in other words, cover the shame of your spouse, not expose it.
parasites – anything that latches onto you or your partner and sucks the life out of your marriage, like addictions. “They promise pleasure, but grow like a disease and consume more and more of your thoughts, time, and money. They steal away your loyalty and heart from those you love. Marriages rarely survive if parasites are present. If you love your spouse, you must destroy any addiction that has your heart. If you don’t, it will destroy you.” This hearkens back to the scene in the movie Fireproof where Kirk Cameron’s character smashes his computer CPU and monitor with a baseball bat as a practical and visual way of him destroying his addiction to internet pornography. It helped set him free.
This role of protector is illustrated well in the Bible as “shepherd,” who protects those in his charge.
Back to my smugness in regards to “been there, done that” theology and information like this. Even if I am walking in obedience and out from under the control of an evil influence, it is a trap to think pridefully that something is beneath me. The adage is true: “there, but for the grace of God, go I.” Boasting is not a good thing. It’s a snare waiting to happen.
This other book I’m reading (Date Your Wife) has a quote that helps put the simple devotion to Jesus talk into perspective:
Jesus doesn’t make men better. Jesus makes men new.
That first time I looked at my wife Taylor in that Palo Alto kitchen, my life changed. I fell in love. Everything became new. Looking at Taylor still moves me. But something even greater happens when men look at Jesus.
I thought I saw Jesus clearly a long time ago, but the last few years Jesus has stunned me. Everyday he becomes more amazing to me. He is always surprising me. His gospel proves bigger and better with each passing week. Nobody has ever loved me the way Jesus loves me. I deserve none of it. It feels like Jesus has reached into my chest and given me a new heart. The pivot point of my life has changed. I’m not trying so hard to get the world to revolve around me. I feel free.
Men, you will not pursue your wife well until you know the God who pursues you.
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