love-is-unconditional439
Today’s chapter from The Love Dare – chapter 20 – is about how love comes from Jesus. It’s the chapter that tells the reader that now is the time to surrender to Jesus and receive His love and forgiveness. I have done this and rejoice that He has received me unto Himself, forgiven me, raised me up to sit with Him in heavenly places, has made me His friend and servant with a mission and a destiny. I can’t imagine life without Him. Even though this chapter is not aimed at where I am, it’s certainly beneficial to remember my belief in Him.
We’ve probably all heard this a bunch. It’s hard not to take a “been there, done that” attitude when confronted with that. I try to take a different angle or let the words settle on my brain and see if they drip down a different channel in my brain lobes. For anyone reading The Love Dare, this chapter becomes a crucial point. Like the cliche we’ve heard a lot – God being at the center of a marriage keeps it in the right focus. The agape (selfless, unconditional) love that He provides empowers both people to truly seek to meet the needs of the other.
I’ve been so guilty of loving selfishly. It’s so sneaky and subtle how my thoughts and heart turns towards myself. It’s not as obvious as thinking, “I will show love, but what will I get out of it,” but that’s basically what it boils down to. Somehow, when I humble myself before God it gives me a perspective that breaks me out of me-me-me and I can love others without the selfish crap getting in the way.
So, for the reader that isn’t surrendered to Christ and receiving His infusion of unconditional love, this chapter is crucial.
I am thinking about something my friend and pastor told me yesterday. He remarked at how marriage has become a lot like (or been reduced to) high school. Couples are breaking up like a 3-week dating span – only it’s lasting maybe 3 years instead of 3 weeks. It’s kind of sad that we can be so shallow. It’s not easy to go deep, but it’s not rocket science, either. I like the way The Love Dare pushes one individual (one partner of the marriage) to focus on loving their spouse with a deep appreciation, serving without demanding anything in return.
There’s a funny and ironic moment in the movie Fireproof, where Kirk Cameron is ranting about how he’s “done all the book says to do” and his wife doesn’t love him back. He asks a question by stating that he’s loved his spouse but received nothing but rejection in return. His dad, meanwhile, is leaning against a cross and it becomes such an obvious symbol pointing to God and how He has loved us and reached out to us and given sacrificially to us time and time again – even though we’ve rejected Him over and over.
When something like that sinks in, a brokenness and a deep gratitude comes in. It’s easier to respond to someone when they love you and God loves us. It’s just a natural and appropriate response to love Him back. This also gives us a change of heart that allows us to love others. “He loved me, I want to love others the same way.” Kinda cool how that works.

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