thelovedarebook

Today’s chapter is about getting to know your mate. If you saw the movie Fireproof, there are two things about this chapter you will remember. One is that the book uses the analogy that, “if when you first married your spouse and the amount you studied him or her was the equivalent of a high school diploma, as your marriage goes on, your study should equal that of a college degree, a Master’s, a Doctorate.”

Like yesterday’s chapter about intimacy, knowing about your mate is an important byproduct of spending so much time with them and sharing with them AND LISTENING and studying.

I wish I was better at this. I think one of my problems is paying attention. I’ll forget things that I’ve been told, like one of our kids is doing something at this time on this day or that someone else is going to be with us at this event. It seems my brain focuses on certain things as key to remember and dismisses the rest. I need to hone in on that. Maybe I can make my training and learning fun by doing more brain-teaser puzzles and watching more mysteries and such – where I learn to pay better attention to details.

When I hear about couples that know about each others hopes and dreams it makes me envious and wanting to be more like that. I think it’s special to know your spouse’s inner-most secrets. I think that shows that there’s high trust.

Today’s Dare:
This is another scene you’ll remember from the movie. It’s the one where the fireman makes a candlelight dinner for his wife at home. She looks at him, tells him off and marches out of the room. So much for that attempt. It drives the point home that marriages aren’t recipes that can follow formulas and clever plans and expect to get x, y or z results. We are all individual people and we all respond different to certain things. I think of the verse that says it is “the honor of kings to search it out.”

Studying your mate. Definitely an exercise that’s worth it – and one that is fun and captivating as you do it. I like this.

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