It’s back! I’m blogging again about the book The Love Dare. I stopped sometime around July of 2009. I’m not sure what got in the way, but I got busy with other things and let it slide. Now I’m back in earnest and we’re going to see this through to Day 40.

Today’s Love Dare was about intercession. It talked about each spouse’s keen awareness of the other’s faults, weaknesses and areas of need. The Simpson’s logic (you know, slap yourself in the head and yell, “Doh!”) is that we have this insight so we can pray better than anyone else for our spouse’s needs.

Today’s Dare was:
Begin praying today for your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.

I like that dare! It doesn’t have any of the interactive awkwardness that “say something kind or honorable or something special to let your spouse know that she’s on your mind.” These are all great things – fantastic things – but they can be a bit awkward. What if you buy her flowers and she doesn’t appreciate it? What if you say the wrong thing? Things that can be overcome, for sure. I’m not talking about that. I’m just saying that Today’s Dare doesn’t have that awkwardness built in. I can pray in my “prayer closet” for my wife and do it passionately, honestly and it’s a private moment. I appreciate that today.

The book had some really cool advice in today’s chapter:

Beyond this, begin to pray for exactly what your mate needs. Pray for his heart. Pray for her attitude. Pray for your spouse’s responsibilities before God. Pray for truth to replace lies. Pray that forgiveness would replace bitterness. Pray for a genuine breakthrough in your marriage. And then pray for your heart’s desires – for love and honor to become the norm. Pray for romance and intimacy to go to a deeper level.

One of the most loving things you can ever do for your spouse is to pray for them. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

I’m reminded of what an old roommate told me when I was criticizing one of his real faults:

“Be very quiet about my problems to me, but shout about them to God.”

This quote has come back to me recently. I used it for the back page message of the May issue of HM Magazine. I inserted it into the lyrics of a song that we have written as a band. I think it speaks volumes about intercession. I love it.

I started off my prayer today with repentance. I have not been a man of prayer. I have not prayed each morning for my wife and two daughters. I’ve probably prayed every day for the last 29 years, but intercession – where I specifically prayed for someone I loved – I can’t say that I have. And that’s tragic. It’s the least I can do for the One Who’s got my back (and offered His back to blood-lusty Roman soldiers and their cat-of-nine-tails whips). I really should have made this part of my daily routine. Seriously.

Oh, and just so ya know, this chapter wasn’t dumb. It addressed the old mistake of “trying to change your spouse.” Only God can do that. And even though God hears our prayers, He’s not a genie that answers our every wish. It’s not like this is an exercise in manipulation. That’s entirely the wrong point. If you get in the right attitude, though, you’ll find that your prayers for your spouse will be self-less and that selfish bent or silly prayers you might have been tempted to pray will be seen more clearly as kinda lame and you’ll pray from a more loving stance and attitude.

The last Love Dare blog: /2009/07/the-love-dare14/
(why is chapter 15 skipped? cuz it was yesterday’s blog and i felt like re-starting this with today, not yesterday. it was fresh. perhaps i’ll fill in the gap from 15 down the road (it was a good one – Love is Honorable)