I didn’t think it would happen to me … at least not today. I wasn’t expecting a moment. Granted, I often use my blog like a devotion. I am able to pour out my thoughts and hopefully, help me crystallize a thought and, at the same time, maybe encourage someone else. Just like a preacher who’s always feeding the flock or (especially) a typical person that’s always thinking about correcting others, devotion time must include some personal interaction from time to time. It can’t always be about “what others need to hear.” Sometimes it needs to be something you yourself absorb and reflect on. Thus, I try to keep that in mind and stay in balance as I use my blog (quite often) as a sort of public devotion. With this in mind – having an outlet – I often start my day thinking about what I’ll blog about. Maybe it’ll be something I read a little bit early on in the morning. Sometimes it’ll start with a thought in the shower and maybe carry over on the 25-minute drive I have to work. I’ll chew on something and ponder different angles of a topic.
Just like I do with music, I’m reading more than one book at a time right now. I’m still going through this great June release called Reborn to be Wild (by Ed Underwood on David C. Cook publishing), but I’m also listening to an audio version of the Erwin McManus book Wide Awake. In it thus far I’ve been impressed with a story of him being hit by a car that was passing a truck he was trying to beat (across the highway!) and how when he noticed it all he could try to do was go airborn and miss being clipped by the front fender. He flew through the air and was struck by the windshield and sent flying. He actually had the presence of mind to resort to something he’d been experimenting with on the track team at school – tucking and doing a flip in the air to try and increase his long jump distance – which he did and then went sprawling to the ground. His aunt, who dropped him off on the other side of the highway in an effort to save time, did a u-turn and came running over to him, telling him to “get up and I’ll take you to the hospital.” While at the emergency room, he was set to undergo some tests to find out why he was without feeling in his legs. He was facing a life of paralysis and his first conflict with the phrase “no, you can’t do that” was a reply to his request to use the bathroom. He had to go really bad. Turns out he talked them into leaving the room and shutting the door to give him privacy with which to pee in the plastic kidney-shaped bowl they gave him. He swung out of the bed and endeavored to crawl out the room, down a corridor and into the bathroom. Once the sweet relief was done, he realized he was trapped and it was too embarrassing to yell for help. So he lifted himself off the toilet seat … and walked out of there. “I don’t know how that happened,” he said, but it’s a heck of a story to start off a book about following your dreams.
I’m slowly getting to the point that blew me away today. As I got about 5 miles from the office (the HM Ranch) I heard a statement that arrested my heart. It was one of those moments where I gasped a “Whoa!” and turned off the audio book on the car stereo. I sat in silence pondering this thought for the rest of the trip in. I really wasn’t expecting one of these moments.
These moments are quite cool. They’re one of those experiences that make me glad to be alive. It was a statement that might not have been meant to be so incredibly profound for the writer, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. He was talking about God giving us dreams, encouraging us to have big dreams. He was expounding on a story in the Gospels where Jesus asked a blind man (Bartemaous), “What do you want?” He implied that God wants us to ask big things of Him. It was probably obvious that this blind man wanted sight, but Jesus waited for him to specify what he wanted. Perhaps if he would have said, “Increase my hearing to help me compensate for my blindness” or maybe “please open one eye for me.”
Of course, it makes you think the thought, ‘What do I want to ask God for? What dream do I long to see come true?’ As I was pondering this the author described several people he knew that gave up degrees or stature or this or that to help people in situations (like teaching some in remote Muslim countries where education and progress might even be seen as a threat). After telling several examples, he said something about how it’s so interesting that most often God fulfills our dreams that are centered on helping other people achieve their dreams.
Whoa! It kind of hit me that this is what I’m blessed and allowed to do with HM Magazine. My initial vision for the magazine, which I’ve replied with as a “Mission Statement” when people have asked is this:
To serve the artist and the fan. The artist needs something simple and practical, called “publicity” so that he or she can expand the scope of their art (and sometimes ministry). The fan looks up to the artist and oftentimes within the context of an interview the artist will “out of the abundance of their heart speak” and so encourage and edify the fan. A fan (or any person) will often not allow someone else to “speak into their lives” without trusting them first. By way of an interview, the fan gets to know the artist more, trusts them more and gets encouraged more and this helps the artist expand his or her scope and reach. That’s the vision of HM Magazine in a nutshell.
One particular thing that came to mind after hearing this statement was an answer to the obvious question: “What is the dream of the artist I’m supposedly serving?” The answer quite often might be, “To be a rock star.” By doing what I’m doing (giving artists a platform, reviewing their art, praising or critiquing their art, printing posters and large photos of the artist) I’m allowing them to fulfill their dream of being a rock star.
Wow.
At first my reaction is not negative. It is one of gratitude. It is fulfilling to help anyone see their dream come true. But then I had to wrestle with the “rock star” dream. On the surface, it seems shallow. Being a rock star is show, not substance. It’s image, not character. It’s real easy to judge the dream of “rock star” as empty, shallow, pride-centered and immature. But, the way I’ve usually approached writing in HM is not only honest and fair critique of art, but also encouragement and edification. I’ve probably sought to inform and encourage artists and fans to see and grow beyond the superficial. If you can enlighten a talented musician about the shallowness of fame and fortune beforehand, maybe when they get there they can instead use their platform for good instead of the vacuous pursuit of more fame, more money, more power. Whether or not I’ve done that to the best degree is yet to be seen, but I think it’s fair to say that this angle or direction is the one I’m faced in and have been pursuing all along.
So, without looking for it or even asking for it, I think I was somehow affirmed in an exciting way today.
Thank You, God, for giving me a glimpse of this. Even if I’m way off base on this whole thing, I thank You that I’m able to give the concept of serving others some thought. Thanks for reminding me again that it’s not about me. That focusing on others and loving others and treating others as more important than myself is the attitude to nurture. And please help me expand my dreams. Let me know Your will and let me achieve Your will by the grace and power You are probably eager to freely give me and those who join me in this prayer.
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