At one point in my time as a single guy when I was walking with Jesus and trying to be pure, I pushed myself to the limit and almost went over the cliff. As most boy/girl relationships that allow for physical affection, there is a concept called “the law of diminishing returns” that can take affect. One level of physical affection (like prolonged kissing) gets to a point where it doesn’t satisfy like it did the first few times. Another level is pressed to achieve that pleasure (like “French kissing”) and so on.
So, here I was at my girlfriend’s house and we were in her bedroom. Uh-oh! That was a mistake that opened the door to trouble. We were on her bed. Strike two. We were kissing passionately. It was getting intense. Real intense. I wanted to get it on. I won’t lie. We had our clothes on, but it looked like that might be temporary. I started to push the boundaries of our kissing and close proximity. I moved my hand from her shoulder to her breast. She whispered my name, “Oh, Doug.”
That was about all I needed to abandon my restraints and my morals. My human body was firing off several nerve endings that were screaming: “Pleasure! Pleasure! More to follow! Get ready. Let’s go!”
Fortunately, for purity’s sake, we pulled back. I’m not sure what the first words were, but it was probably something like, “We can’t do this.” Then she said something I’ll probably never forget. She said, “I don’t want to hurt Jesus.”
To me, this came from almost a child-like pure heart. It wasn’t a grown-up, prepared statement about the reasons for remaining pure and the consequences of what was around the corner. It got straight to the point of what’s really most important. It would offend, hurt, hinder and get in the way of our relationship with God.
In that moment horny little Doug somehow had a tiny little bit of Jesus on the inside that heard that statement and it was enough to tilt the tipping ship back to normal. I don’t recall having a glorious, holy and mighty moment of clarity. It was small. It was tiny, but it was enough.
I heard a sermon today at church that spoke of the drama that ensued between Isaac and his two sons – Jacob and Esau. The sermon elaborated on the two types of sorrow, like what Paul the apostle described in 2 Corinthians 7. There’s sorrow that leads to regret and there’s godly sorrow that leads to repentance. The story of David being confronted about his affair and murder/cover-up with Bathsheba was brought up. The way David responded to the prophet Nathan and his confrontation was godly. Psalm 51 was David’s prayer as a result of this confrontational conversation.
“It is against You and You only that I have sinned.”
Owning up to our sin and not playing the victim is vital for true repentance. There is joy in restoration that happens after repentance. Grace is wonderful and amazing. To grasp it and receive it in abundance, it is repentance that will take you there.
I won’t name any names or get more personal than I already have, so I’ll assign a different name to this godly woman that helped me stay pure in this area. I’ll go with Jemima, since apparently that name signified a very beautiful lady in the Bible. I’d like to express some gratitude for that. Thank you, Jemima, for saying those things. I’m grateful for avoiding those sins – and not just for the consequences, but because it would’ve been a sin against God and God alone.
As I was writing this, something jumped out at me. Using the word “purity” or talking about the concept of “staying pure” can cause conflict for some. The notion that we cannot ever be truly pure might make someone want to dismiss the entire story or reject the points inside of it. If God does not call us to holiness, then it’s all a moot point. I believe the Bible (God’s direct Word) does call us to holiness and perfection, obedience, confidence and victory. These are lofty goals and we have hearts of death that are woefully equipped to measure up and carry us to these goals. The promise of Jesus and the “abundant life” He claimed to be purposefully bringing to earth, though, carries with it a power. In forgiveness and humility and gratitude comes a right response that we can grasp. We can actually respond in love to the choices in our life and make choices for good, for life and for purity. Beyond that I believe it’s a little mystical and involves Someone referred to as the Holy Spirit.
Calling the choice to refrain from plunging headfirst into sexual sin can indeed be called a move of “purity,” even if we are still sinners saved by grace. Even though we live in this fleshly body and battle against temptations over and over again, there is hope. If there was not, the promise of 1 Corinthians 10:13 would be a cruel joke.
It says: “No temptation has seized you, except what is common to man. And God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. With the temptation He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
That’s really good news.
And now for something completely different: a couple of shirt designs for my old punk band that’s reared its ugly reunion head this year…
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