Dan, you were asked to review the new Paramore album for HM Magazine, but it wasn’t your typical album review process, was it? We were told that there were “no advance copies being sent out” and “no streaming content.” We were asked if we had any writers in either LA or NY that we could assign to this. Initially, I balked at the idea. Then, my better senses came to me and I realized, ‘You know what? Even though this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever been approached with as an editor, this isn’t worth battling over and having our readers essentially lose the opportunity to read an album review before the album drops in September.’ So, I assigned you to the review, Dan. I’m so grateful you were able to get down to the offices of Atlantic Records and pull this strange review off. I’d like you to tell us about it.
So, first question, what went on in your mind when you first heard about this?
I thought, ‘Wow, I’ve never been inside Atlantic Records. Sure, this is a little out of the ordinary, but it’ll be fun to do something a different.’
How was the experience? Please describe the building, how you were greeted, etc…
I had to sign in at the front desk, and put on a badge. It seemed like a lot of security for a journalist. I should have told him I was from North Korea or something, just to see the guard’s reaction. Oh the things you think of after the fact. But people were nice. The building was in a cool part of Burbank. NBC and Disney are nearby, so it was a fun place to visit.
Did you sit in a small room? Big room? Studio mixing room? What were the listening digs like?
I sat in the office of a publicist. He had nice pictures of his kids on the all. I looked over his CD collection, and decided he had good taste. I noticed a lot of boxes of promos and stuff. I was trying to see how economic hard times might be changing the music business, but it all looked to be business as usual to me. The office was quiet, but not depressing. The young people working there looked just like the clerks at Amoeba.
Was someone watching you the entire time?
They led me to the room, put the CD in the player and told me how to work the stereo. They said I had as much time as I needed. Nobody watched me. The label representative went back to her cubicle, which tells me she was lower on the company ladder, and I went to work.
Were you alone?
Yes, I was alone. I expected to be herded into a conference room, like cattle, but such was not the case. I was looking forward to talking with other journalists, the way I do at concerts — as they usually sit us all together. We recognize each other because we all look like nerds, not music fans.
How often did someone interact with you during the listening of the album?
Nobody bothered me the whole time I listened. I could hear music coming from another office; some kind of hard rock stuff. But I couldn’t figure out who it was and that kind of bugged me. I pride myself on my pride sometimes.
Did you get to choose which track to hear or have the ability to request a “play-that-track-over?”
I was given no listening restrictions. I had the pre-release case to look at, and that was it.
Did anyone ask you what you thought and study your reaction, etc?
Nobody said anything afterwards. They only asked me if I need my parking validated, which was unnecessary. They seemed like they were just doing their jobs, and not observing some rat (me) in a cage.
How weird was the whole thing?
It was odd, but not bad. I’ve worked at record companies in the past, so it wasn’t an entirely foreign atmosphere. It sort of felt like being back home.
Would you do this again?
Yes, if I had to. But this time I’d steal all the good CDs from the office. (I’m just kidding. I would have gone to the computer, ripped the files, and then neatly put them back where they belonged. That’s another lie. Honest, I wouldn’t have taken a doggone thing).
Did you walk out of there with any cool Paramore or Atlantic/Fueled by Raman swag?
No swag! I tried to get on the guest list for the band’s opening slot with No Doubt, but it was No Go.
Any other thoughts?
I saw Pink in concert last night. How cool is that?
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