"I'm looking at porn."

I am a guy that, for lack of a better phrase, tries to stay “on the straight and narrow.” With the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life I believe I have access to all the divine power and help I need to stay clean and pure. Being a human, of course, means there are bends in my morals due to the fall (of man…not the annual season. Wouldn’t that be something if mankind went haywire every fall? It’d be worse than a zombie movie if our sinful natures were not opposed, I tell ya.).

One way to steer yourself “off course” is to participate in some of the “big” and “obvious” sins, like getting drunk, using drugs to get high, looking at porn, etc. But here I was reading a weekly email from Sports Illustrated. Lately it’s had a lot of dramatic news stories about my favorite team – the Dallas Cowboys. I guess the people behind sports magazines and sports talk radio stations think all men are meatheads (and there’s gotta be enough to keep a demographic perception alive), because there’s thumbnail photos of models and cheerleaders in bikinis.

I clicked on one to check it out.

For those doing the backtracking or “watching game film,” this is the first mistake.

I’m looking at a beautiful young lady. She’s a model for some non-alcoholic beverage company. Instead of a bathing suit, it’s a hand-painted bathing suit. When you look at the image, you think you’re looking at a girl in a bikini. But she’s not wearing a bikini. It’s just bare skin and some pigmented paint.

I tell myself, “I’m looking at porn!”

I can’t do stuff like this. The reasons go on and on. Seeing a woman dressed attractively is not a sin. It’s when you turn the glance into a gaze – and then when the tongue comes out and you start salivating like a dog – that’s when you know you’ve crossed over and you’re not so innocent anymore. I’m sure women liked to be looked at and appreciated for their outward beauty. Women are people. I enjoy it when an attractive woman glances at me or smiles at me. It’s natural. It’s vain, but normal. Most women, I’m guessing, do not like to be gawked at and leered at. Objectifying women may not be something men will ever understand, but it’s degrading.

When I’m at a Cowboys game, for example, not gawking at the cheerleaders is a way of honoring my wife. Gawking at them, in a way, is dishonoring to her and our marriage covenant.

Then there’s the battle of the mind. Jesus raised the bar on moral standards when He told it like it is. “Do not commit adultery.” We understand that. It’s an act. A deliberate set of choices between two people. But He went further. “When you look at a woman and lust after her, you’ve committed adultery in your heart.” He wants us to rise above. He wants us to live free from sin. Sin isn’t just a list of do’s and do-not’s. Sin messes us up. It’s damaging on several levels (emotionally, spiritually, physically). Jesus wasn’t self-righteous and He’s the only One Who had the right to be so. He understands and sympathizes with our weaknesses. He takes sin seriously. He paid a HUGE and painful price for sin. Yet He doesn’t look down His nose at us with derision, muttering, “sinners…dirty sinners.” He understands, He cares and He equips us to rise above … if we will choose to.

Delete. Close. Avoid.

Another danger that lurks when dealing with stuff like this is self-righteousness. “Oh, I don’t go to strip clubs. I don’t cheat on my wife. I don’t hire prostitutes. I don’t look at porn. I’m good…” Sometimes as soon as we think we’re good, we’re set up to fail. Technically, I guess it’s not legally porn; but for the purposes of someone trying to live in a good way, it was porn. I failed with this innocuous and seemingly innocent website from one of my favorite sports magazines. That’s dumb.

If this is something that hits close to home (in other words, if you are one of 90% of all males out there), there’s some resources and encouragement available at places like whitecollarsideshow, levithepoet and xxxchurch.com. Check it out.