thrash it once, thrash it again, thrash, thrash, thrash against sin!
Old One Bad Pig lyrics they are. Well, I just finished Eric Clayton – The Collective Journals 1997 – 2009. I can’t believe I made it through the ever long book, which as Clayton describes as something like one giant, long narcissistic tome. I found it fascinating. It was like catching up with an old friend by reading an enormously long letter. It makes me sad I’ve lost touch with the man. We shared some good times together. I saw Saviour Machine perform at the First Southern California Christian Metal and Alternative Rock Festival (I think that was the long title of that two-day show) and started covering them immediately in the pages of (then) Heaven’s Metal Magazine. I spent many times on the phone with him as the band progressed from obscure indie band to obscure goth rock band on a label. I remember listening with empathy as he described the “incident” at the New Union in Minneapolis. I remember hearing stories about the ill-fated tour with Deliverance. I look back with fondness at a couple of times out -of-state: one was hanging out with him near his rented RV at the Tom Festival, where both his young daughter and mine played together. That was really sweet. Another was seeing him slip and slide on the perimeter in his Doc Marten style boots at our annual “Artist vs. Industry” Flag Football game in Nashville. And there was the time immortalized on our HM Video Magazine, Vol. 6* where I applied the white stage makeup to his bald head as the camera rolled and an interview unfolded.
For reasons unknown, but probably due to my simply not reaching out and keeping in touch, we lost touch over the years. It was so refreshing to read of his immense love and profound impact that being a father has seemingly had on him. Even though he reiterates the fact near the conclusion, he prioritized his parenting above all other earthy ministry and it shows so beautifully in his matter-of-fact writing. His journals show an endearing man with a big heart and a wise head. He’s a man of great impartiality and solid-as-the-earth, or should I say “down to earth” when it comes to dealing with people and their problems by not passing judgment but trying to help. This type of attitude is exuded in the pages of this journal. I never really noticed, but the pages of this book are not numbered. It’s probably a good thing, because even though it’s only about an inch thick, I think the page count would reach infinity or beyond the numbers one could count without a calculator.
I found the dramatic years and the extended time between Legend II and Legend III albums quite fascinating. It’s a dramatic read and full of some painful details. I’m glad that the rumors or insinuations I heard about him seem completely off-base. The perspective of time seems to bear this out, too. I know this doesn’t come off as quite the eloquent book review, but it’s just my blog and my brain is still waking up and processing the finality of finishing the book. I’ll be able to articulate a proper review in very few words for our LIFEstyle section for the next issue when it’s time to put the next issue to press.
* Of course, it would be remiss if I were not to mention that copies of this VHS tape are still available at our store for the bargain price of $4.99. I wonder if I’ll ever sell the two or more boxes of 50 each of those video cassettes…? I’ve tried a few times to get it released as a DVD – dating back to 2000, where packaging artwork was designed.
HM Magazine’s finances are in a mess. We really need more income. It’s such a strain to see advertising sales become so difficult to realize. If I weren’t at home, working part-time and not drawing a salary and having pretty much no staff, things would be more difficult. Yuck. Please pray with me that God’s provision would be shown. I am committed to carrying this magazine on in print (and I think my presence at this very moment in time kind of proves that), but we are certainly dependent upon God for our survival. Not sure how it will happen, but I’ve got a pretty strong sense that He has plans for the future that are good. He was there at the start, He’s been there through many tough times.
I’m leery of sharing “vulnerable” details over our business, but I’m inspired by Eric Clayton’s vulnerability and this is kind of how I roll with my blog anyway, so if I shoot myself in the foot financially for venting in honesty here, I can live with that.
I was inspired by church yesterday. We are now going to an exciting place. It is so cool to be in a room with so many enthusiastic lovers of Jesus – who seem more than willing to express that love in worship. There’s something electric about an atmosphere like that and I love it. I was reminded of God’s plans for my life, His love for me and it gives me great hope to move forward and look for His provision in my roles as husband, father, friend and business owner. One of my decisions is to write more in some blank journals/hardbound books I bought each of my “girls” (wife and two daughters). Most of the words I’ve put in those pages thus far (I’m probably less than 20% full at this point) is practical husband or father to daughter type stuff. But I realized that some of my most heartfelt and passionate things I’d love to pass on are about God, so I want to write some random and personal thoughts on various “God subjects,” like grace, grace and grace.
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