150_Cover600

There it is: the planned cover art for the next issue of HM Magazine. It might be the last one in print … at least for awhile. I’ve not made it a secret that HM has been in a financial battle to stay in print the past few years. I’m half-willing to lay all the cards on the table, but I know enough that tact, class and discretion are pretty important. So, I won’t throw dollar figures around. I’ll just be slightly vague.

For years HM has sold or generated “C” amount of ad sales dollars per issue. This was enough money to cover the rent, utilities, supplies and salaries of a small staff. Almost three years ago that amount coming in was cut in half (let’s call it “B” amount). This forced us to cut corners wherever possible and two staff positions were either laid-off or simply not replaced when someone moved on for other reasons. We down-sized every way fathomable. I skipped salary checks when necessary, our paper (“trim”) size shrank. We kept going, but kind of limping along.

I switched places with my wife, who became the “bread winner” in the family. This was no small thing. It kept us in print, though. In January of 2011 our ad sales were half of “B” (meaning they were “A”), which is just a complete loss. Most people would’ve thrown in the towel at that time. I changed our “frequency” from bi-monthly (every other month) to quarterly. This would reduce our income, but also chop up our expenses (like those large print bills). I kept going, rolled out some new plans and was able to climb back up to “B” with our April/May/June Issue #148. I realized, though, that even with my wife working full-time that “B” was not enough. I kept going. Sold “B” again with our July/Aug/Sept Issue #149.

I decided that Issue #150 (our Oct/Nov/Dec issue) would have to get to a point where we could survive (and actually get a salary again). This amount is slightly under “B-and-a-half.” My deadline is tomorrow. I’m a good ways away from reaching that point. Something could happen. I could reach the B.5 mark, but I’m not holding my breath. I have a feeling it’s not going to happen. I’ll follow-up with a blog and let you know. I still have another ad agency working for me to sell ads in certain categories (books, universities, music gear, child sponsorship organizations) and I still have until September 23rd to put this issue together. It could happen. Four weeks ago I thought it would, but less than 24 hours away from my self-imposed deadline, it’s so far away from the goal (not even at “B” yet) that I’m thinking I will soon find out what the next chapter will be.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I sure do love the One that knows the future. I don’t love Him because He has the power to raise funds for HM Magazine. I love Him because He first loved me. He pulled me out of the mess I was in. He’s treated me like royalty, given me hope, purpose and an identity I can be sure of. He’s adopted me as His own. It’s so good to know Him. Even if my print magazine goes digital-only, He’ll still be my Savior. I love God. He’s awesome and I need His help. If that’s not in the form of cash to reach the B.5 goal, I can accept that. He is God. I am not.

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