I’m reading this awesome book by Ed Underwood, called Reborn To Be Wild. I kind of feel bad about blogging about it in advance, because this book is so wonderful that I’m all excited about it, but when you read this blog, all you can do is look forward to when it comes out (in June). I’m reviewing it for our July/August issue, so it’s good I have it now, but it bothers me that you can’t read it along with me right now!
If you can stand the excitement and anticipation prior to the release, I’ll blog and share as much as I feel inspired to do so. This is one of those awesome books that I could blog about every day for several weeks. The bummer is I’ve only blogged about it once or twice prior to this post, and I’m near the end at page 290.
Okay, one of the things I like about this book the most is that I can relate to it. Underwood writes in a story-telling manner and in an everyday manner that’s kind of casual. One of the things he shared in chapter 11, which he titled “Our Only Goal, Our Only Gold,” is a story about his old days at Dallas Theological Seminary (way back in 1980), where someone taught him about the bema, or judgment seat of Christ. The concept of rewards was kind of shocking to him.
‘Rewards,’ I remember shouting in my mind, ‘what rewards? Judgment Seat of Christ, what’s that? I thought Christians wouldn’t be judged!’ I felt an initial aversion to the whole idea of serving Christ because He would somehow repay me. Wasn’t His death on the cross enough?
As our professor cited passages from the gospels and epistles, I had to admit that it seemed the Bible said that every Christian would stand before Jesus as Judge to receive rewards. And then he turned us to a verse I thought I knew, one of the key verses of the Jesus Movement – Revelation 22:12. The first five words had been one of our slogans: “And behold, I am coming quickly!” I sat stunned as I read the rest of the verse: “and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work.”
‘How did I miss that?’ I asked myself, ‘Why didn’t I read on?’
I can relate to that whole “only catching part of a verse” thing. I remember how central to the Jesus Movement (or at least popular) was the Second Coming theology. I’ve also had conversations with people who seemed kind of mad and at odds with the concept of rewards. “I’ll just be glad to make it to Heaven,” they’d say. I admired their heart, because it appeared humble and full of gratitude towards their savior. My friends seemed in tune with their fallenness – their wretched state of rebellion, stubbornness and resistance to a loving Savior. They were aware of how often and miserably they failed Him. Although, if you looked at this person’s life, you’d think they were very close to God and walking with Him. I believe they were/are walking close with God. One of the by-products of drawing close to His holiness is having your eyes opened to how unholy we are. Are hearts are so “prone to wander,” as the song states. Our pride creeps into so many areas. These “contemplative Christians” are a huge inspiration and positive role model to me.
But the author is kind of pointing out an error they’ve made with that attitude of: “Rewards!? Forget rewards! Jesus is my only reward!” It’s wrong. Flat-out wrong. The intentions were undoubtedly pointed in a positive direction, but, according to the author, this reward system is a massive key to discipleship and growing with Christ. He studies the early church (in the book of Acts) and sees how they work with a concept of doing things with this motivation. He sees rewards as a “major theme of the New Testament.” This warrants a deeper look, don’t you think?
The author went on to explain how his studies transformed his life.
The thought of Jesus bringing His reward with Him not only deepened my longing for His return, but it also re-radicalized my revival heart. The doctrine of rewards made me more willing than ever to sacrifice for the Lord Jesus, more willing to do the hard things, more willing to pay the price for discipleship.
He goes on a few pages later to hit this mental aversion that I’ve felt right in the head:
I’ve met a lot of Christians over the years who consider themselves above all of this and even judge reward-seeking believers as somehow selfish. The early church sure didn’t think that way. Maybe if more of us stopped worrying about how “pure” we appeared to other Christians, more of us would start living the way the first Christians did: sold out to Jesus Christ.
So anyway, as I read this my mind and heart started to wonder how much I’ve been motivated (or not) by heavenly rewards in my life. Have I truly sought to hear Jesus tell me one day, “Well done, My good and faithful servant?” I began to wonder what some of my reward-deserving actions were. I quickly concluded (or maybe my heart was “quickened”) that it was those times that I’ve been obedient to the still, small voice of God. I believe this is the voice of the Holy Spirit (which could be another whole series of blogs). I believe that practical and tangible times of service, like serving food in a food kitchen, etc and volunteering have certainly glorified God and been a practical example of being like the “hands and feet of Jesus” to the world around me, I think there’s something special and uniquely personal about the times of personal obedience to God.
For example, when I believe that an “out of the blue” thought drops into my head about something, like “turn that notebook around so it doesn’t keep flopping in the wind and some student’s papers go flying everywhere” and when I follow-through and do that, I think it’s a small, but not insignificant act that pleases God. There have been times where I think God wanted me to say something specific to someone and I did it and I think it meant something to that person that heard it.
As I thought about following the still, small voice of the Lord’s leading, I recalled times how I did not follow through. Let me share my failure with you.
One time I believe the Lord was working on something in my heart and, for some reason, I believe He did not want me to feast my eyes upon the morbid fascinated-with-death video series called Faces of Death. To put it bluntly, I believe the Holy Spirit forbade me from watching any of those. I instinctively knew that this was one of those personal type things, like a “gray area,” where God would give me convictions about something to do or not do – to enjoy or to avoid – and it was not for other people. I didn’t need to worry about whether or not someone else did such and such. This was just business between me and the Lord. But what did I do not too long after that fairly clear moment of clarity? I went out and rented a Faces of Death video and watched it. Later on, when I thought about it again, it made me very sad to realize that I had been blessed with the very precious (in my opinion) and privileged opportunity to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit and I de-valued His words so much that I did exactly what He told me not to do. That sucks.
Another example has happened to me more than once. After preparing a meal, like a lunch, I sat down at my desk and bowed my head to say a prayer of thanksgiving (“saying grace”). As I paused, and rested for a moment, I felt like the still, small voice inside my head (uh oh! call the psychiatrist!) whisper the thought to me, “Go and give this meal to (name removed to protect the innocent and to cover up my inability to remember the names of each of these people).” What did I do? I dismissed the thought. You see, I was hungry. I didn’t have a backup plan or meal (most of the time this happened). ‘If I gave this meal away, what would I eat?’ I thought to myself. Of course, I felt a little bit guilty, but then forced myself to enjoy the wonderful taste of whatever it is I was eating. There’s been a few times (this particular scenerio has happened at least 4-5 times that I can recall) that the food I was about to eat was something REALLY, really good, like steak fajitas or something I like a lot.
One of these times I swallowed my desire and went and asked the person if they wanted the food and when they said, “No thanks,” I was so happy! ha ha ha. I’m such a selfish pig! At least I haven’t disregarded this directive every single time I’ve heard it. I don’t beat myself up for this, but I do recognize it as an act of disobedience and, in the bigger scheme of things, a failed opportunity to experience the joy of obedience.
I’ve come to find that obedience is the sweetest joy.
Maybe the person that I could have offered the food to perhaps needed it more than I did. Or maybe they had just prayed a prayer that said something like, “Show me a sign, Lord. Bless me with something out of the blue” or even, “I don’t have anything to eat, God. Can you help me out here?” How could would it have been to have been a part of that whole thing?
I truly believe that God somehow finds great joy in limiting His activity on this earth by working through His people. Therefore, if His people disobey or one person fails to respond, He’ll ask someone else. They’ll get the blessing of being a part. The person who disobeyed doesn’t get punished, but they do lose an opportunity for gain.
Anyway, I figured I’d share this. Hope you get something out of it. And, before I go, let me mock myself with this photo I found in the attic last night. Go back and look at it, but softly sing the song “Oh, Holy Night,” but change the words to “Oh, Holy Doug…” ha ha ha (that’s some wicked beard, huh? something I grew about 10 years ago for a Jesus modeling job. I kid you not. Not a paid job, mind you. I was asked to grow a beard and lose 10 pounds. I got the beard part down. haha)
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