Divorce Invitation
I have a sudden interest of sorts in watching movies or reading books on divorce. So, when I heard about the synopsis of this film, I felt compelled to check it out. It’s not that misery loves company. It’s more like searching for understanding. “How did this happen?”
I’ve long known an old adage: “It takes two people — wanting a relationship to work — for it to work. And it only takes one person not wanting a relationship to work — for it not to work.” The principle is obvious. There are exceptions to every rule, but this rule describes the work that a relationship takes. Yet some relationships have security. Some are solid, but they don’t stay that way without work — your work, her work and His work. Not every cylinder is firing at once. Sometimes one link in a chain can be weak. Sometimes the stronger partner can hold up the weaker partner and help them both survive tough times. Other times one party wants to bolt — and they do.
When the floor gets pulled out from under you … that sense of relational security can vanish. Imagine being in a high-rise building — say 19 to 20 stories high. You step into the elevator, expecting to go from the 19th story to the 20th, it starts to go up, it lurches … and then the floor just completely falls out from under you. It’s a helpless feeling. There’s nothing to grab onto. It’s just a fall. A frightening and sometimes terrifying fall.
There is Jesus.
Calling upon His Name is like magic. It’s not that you get what you wish for. It’s that your fall is somehow cushioned. You might crash, yet you somehow survive. There’s a beauty in His presence. There’s a release in His presence. There’s like an ability to let the pain pass through you. If you don’t resist the pain, but simply let it “pass through,” there is a freedom. It’s not pain-free. It’s certainly not convenient. It’s not easy, but it’s survivable. Knowing God and being known by Him is hard to describe. Many who read this will know what I’m talking about and share in the complex puzzle of trying to describe the experience of loving God and sort of knowing that He’s there, that you’re not alone and that there is something — Someone — bigger than you. Sometimes comfort comes in the midst. The conflict is not resolved. The consequences, circumstances and pain don’t change — but you do.
This movie has a character named Mike (Jonathan Bennett), who is deeply in love with Dylan (Jamie-Lynn Sigler). They love each other. But not everyone around them knows about the union, but then an old friend of the family that Dylan’s grandparents (who raised her) have always liked, shows up. He’s the perfect Jewish young man for their daughter. They love and respect their hard-working manager (aka Mike) at their restaurant, but they are shocked to learn that this Christian boy loves their Jewish grandaughter — and vice-versa. It might not have erupted like a drama had the timing of the old boy acquaintance not happened immediately, causing Mike to spill his guts in front of the grandparents so as to thwart the advances of this newcomer. Mike gets resistance and gets fired from his job, but he perseveres and proves his love by converting to Judaism — including the rite of circumcision. Ouch!
The couple gets married and all seems well with the world. The problems from watching the film and knowing part of its plot, though, is that it takes so long to get to the trouble that would eventually lead to a divorce situation; and the acting is kind of, shall we say, a struggle at time. This is a tad disappointing, because there are Hollywood stalwarts, like Elliot Guild, Paul Sorvino and Jamie-Lynn Sigler playing roles, but it’s not a lot better than some of the cheesy Christian movies that a lot of high school and college age Christian hipsters complain about. Really. But, it is also hilarious at times. Maybe the indie nature (think My Big Fat Greek Wedding) of the film brings with it certain limitations. The story is still engaging. It’s just not a million dollar movie (I’m using that phrase as a metaphor, like “diamond” or “gold,” because for all I know the budget could have been several million). It was charming, romantic, inspiring and very funny. The conflict in the movie turns out to be Mike’s high school sweetheart, Alex (Nadia Bjorlin) — the girl that broke his heart and got away.
While divorce and infedility are key subject matters in the film, the core topic of love is still examined in a profound way. Family, responsibility, friends, material wealth, temptation and other influences of life rear their heads high as the drama unfolds. The crux of the story (and this is all spelled out on the back of the DVD case or the movie description at Video On Demand (VOD), so don’t accuse me of spoiling anything here) is that, when he married Dylan, Mike signed an iron-clad pre-nup which states — in order to get out of his marriage, he must throw a “Divorce Party” and invite all of the guests who came to their wedding!
Interesting, huh? This film is now available on DVD and VOD. Visit the movie’s Facebook page. [Level 33] Doug Van Pelt
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