Can I trust my friends' advice?

I rec’d an honest question this morning from a guy named Patrick:

First off I am a big fan of HM Magazine and have enjoyed sharing it with others.

Straight to the point. I am 28 years old and know that I have a calling to be in full time ministry of some kind. I have prayed and feel that it has something to do with rock music. I play no instruments although I hear melodies in my head and can peck them out on a piano. I can sing, but everybody can sing, and it’s hard to believe your Dads congregation with how good you sound. But I have ideas constantly forming in my head; songs, lyrics, videos, albums, photos. I have all these ideas or thoughts in my head but I have no idea what to do with them.
If you have already deleted this i understand. I know you have things with the magazine and other areas that need your attention. I also understand if you have no advice, other than the normal pray and ask God for guidance. For me emailing someone is a step for me. I live in Auburn, Ga with my wife and step-sons. There is the basic info. While a response is not expected, any advice as to someone I could talk with about this stuff, or atleast a prayer would be appreciated.

Thanks
Patrick

Sent from my iPhone

Appreciate the question, Patrick. I have not deleted your email, but I am jealous that you have an iPhone. Just kidding. This is a good question. We might be able to fine-tune your advice if we fine-tuned your question, but I’ll take a broad swipe at what you’re saying here. You basically feel called to do something with rock music. You’re not sure if this is a risk worth taking or how to get started. Is that right? Is it close enough?

Here’s a few random thoughts that come to mind:

1. Go for it. We live in a place where dreams can become reality. You are not being forced into public service and you have the real freedom to pursue something like this. One of the potential outcomes is failure. But, let’s say you fail at this. Can you not see some benefits from trying and failing? You can certainly know that you have no regrets. You won’t have a “what if?” hanging around in your head. Sometimes you’ll learn something in failure that will lead to a success in another area.

2. Listen to your friends, but apply balance. One of the funniest and also saddest things about American Idol is these poor saps who can’t sing a lick, but somehow found the gumption to audition for the show. One of my first questions is, “Don’t these people have any friends? Where was the honest friend that was willing to say, ‘Hey, you have some ketchup on your shirt and, oh yeah, by the way, you can’t sing very well. You’re always way off key.'” Know that your friends or congregation members from your dad’s church might be biased. They might flatter you because they care for you in a fluffy/don’t-ruffle-feathers sort of way. This is charming and nice, but not always helpful. Take the advice of those around you with a grain of salt. Understand potential reasons for bias.

3. Listen to your own voice. Trust your instincts. Sometimes you will know if a doom-sayer or even a flattering Nanny says something that you know in your heart not to be true. Like point #1, if you trust your instincts and fail, you at least won’t have the regret of, ‘Oh man! I wish I would have tried that!’

4. Your gift will make a way for you. If you really have a gift or talent, it will provide a way for you. You will eventually get the attention it (your gift) deserves. This is a pretty good rule. There are exceptions and there are brilliant artists “hidden” from the general public, but by and large a gift usually makes its way known. Simply put, play your music locally. If it’s good – really good – people will talk. Pretty soon your region of influence will expand. The point underneath this point is that you don’t need to be hyped. If you are for-real and you’ve got something special, get out there and show it (but don’t kick down your own doors just yet). There are not many things worse than someone who is “all talk” but no substance. Have you ever heard someone brag about being good and then when they had a chance to prove their mettle instead fell flat on their face? It’s kind of sad when someone says they can play great lead guitar and then when they plug in and play they prove that they don’t have the skills they were bragging about.

5. Work out your gift with fear and trembling (and sweat). Sometimes us evangelical Christians are so caught up into fast-food and quick solutions that we expect God to give us a song with a holy version of spirit-writing. This is an occult practice (usually a fraud) where someone opens themselves up to the supernatural (demons) and they hold a pen in their hand and let “the spirit” write a message on the paper. Think mediums (and don’t forget God really hates this type of black magic “arts”). This is not how God will usually give someone a song. Usually it will come about and be fleshed out through labor. Even the great miracle of the incarnation was not a fast-food/convenient event. I imagine Mary went through labor – painful contractions and all – for a few (if not several) hours. Michelangelo did not paint that ceiling in a few days. A close examination of Scripture should reveal a work ethic that conveys the message that God works through people via hard work … and it pays off. Another angle of this point is something Glenn Kaiser has said in the past, “If you think yourself a guitarist, practice.”

6. Six. The number of man. The day he was created. If you cannot play an instrument and let’s say your voice is average at best, one thing you could do with your imagination is share it with others. If you know a songwriter, ask if you could sit down and try to come up with some material. That first session might be horrible and un-profitable, but maybe your ideas need an outlet and perhaps co-writing with someone could be that outlet. The songwriter(s) you work with will need some patience (since your experience is little to none) and they will need songwriting skills (in order to actually “flesh out” what you’re imagining).

7. Don’t quit your day job. It’s easy to imagine the future and see success and paychecks rolling in. But until that really happens (and wait a few days for those checks to clear), keep your day job. A lot of artists are not “full-time.” Sometimes “full-time” means you draw a salary and your entire family is fed, clothed and housed by the fruit of your labor. Sometimes “full-time” means you have a good reason to continue creating art, but on the side. Sometimes people get blinded by their goal and they miss out what’s happening. They forget that “the journey is the destination.” If they’re so focused on the end result (making a living off of rock music) that they take for granted or are not grateful for the so-called “small things,” like playing your music at a nursing home or in front of a class of kids. That may be your purpose. A true artist will treat his or her job like a job and appreciate each and every gig. Granted, there are some gigs that are so bad and mis-managed that they are laughable memories later on, but I would say, “Don’t despise the little things.” Sometimes your character is built by the things you experience. They might not all be glorious. Some kids will watch Tom Brady (or whoever ends up being the Super Bowl MVP this year) give his post-game interview and they’ll think, “I want to be that guy.” The problem is they won’t run for miles and miles and hit the weight room. They just dream and expect it to fall in their laps. Not gonna happen that way.

8. Some people act like, “I’m not going to move on this until I know that I know it is the will of God.” To that statement I would venture a response of, “That is fine and all, but I won’t expect you to be doing this.” I’ve seen so many people (especially 18-to-twenty-somethings) stay paralyzed in fear and uncertainty about the will of God. I say, “Do something.” God often uses us when we’re in motion. I believe knowing God and knowing His will for your life is important. But I don’t agonize in prayer over which brand of soda to buy at the store … do you? At what point, then, do we determine which decision needs to be bathed in prayer and which do not? I really believe that God could care less about what we do with our lives. I don’t think He gives a rip whether or not we are a doctor, missionary, teacher, musician, athlete, engineer, cop. I think He’s focused on our character, our heart. He desires relationship. If He needed policemen and soldiers, why did He create Adam and Eve? I think Scripture clearly shows that God wants to know us and be known. He sits outside of time, so He already knows if we’ll get through 7 years of medical school and practice medicine one day. He already knows if we marry Sally or Annabelle. We have a free will and we choose what to do. We can certainly ask God to reveal His will. Sometimes He will. Sometimes He steps in when we make the wrong choice. There’s a verse in Acts that says, “…the Holy Spirit forbid us from going into Asia…” We might be able to deduce from this passage that God’s servants made a decision and acted on it. It wasn’t the decision or direction God wanted them to take, so He “fine-tuned” their path with divine guidance. Sometimes He will allow doors to be shut. Sometimes we’re not ready to showcase our talent at Madison Square Garden. Sometimes God will use that booking agent at the dive punk club, who says, “No thanks!” to your query about playing a gig. Remember the adage that your gift will find a way for you.

9. The odds of being signed to a record deal are probably 1 in 1,500,000. I did some math on this for a talk I gave one time. It’s very similar to the odds of a high school football player making it into the NFL. There are only so many record companies out there with retail distribution and these companies only sign so many new acts each year. This allows us to estimate the odds and make such a calculation. I don’t think my estimate is too far off. It will happen for some people – but we’re talking lots of hard work. Their gift will make a way for them, but it’s not “automatic writing.” Instead it is a result of lots of hard work. We get better with practice. Dream big, but just don’t pretend it’s small or easier than it really is. Work hard. Toil. Sweat. Adapt. Grow. In the end, at least you’ll get better.

10. It might be a fancy thought. It might only be a dream. It might not be something that you’ll end up doing. But if you’re serious (and you took a step by writing that email), then take some time to think about these things. See if you can come up with a plan and then move forward.

11. Guard your heart. If you do decide to pursue something, find some trusted friends that you can bounce ideas off of. These shouldn’t just be “YES MEN,” who will always flatter you, thinking that it’s what you want to hear. I seriously do NOT want to see you on American Idol as one of those early audition examples that they air just for laughs at your expense, Patrick. You need friends that will tell you the truth, but that doesn’t mean you need to look for or recruit “NO MEN,” who will do their best (intentionally or not) to crush your dreams. This is not good, either. But if you formulate a plan, find people you can trust to share that plan with. Be willing to listen to their critique. Be willing to listen to their encouragement or discouraging words. Just don’t give them veto power. Take what you hear and ponder them in your heart. Pray when you are feeling sensitive to God, where your heart is soft and open. Then ask Him if this is a good idea. You might be surprised at the results. God has set the pieces and parts of the body of Christ together. Some of these parts have some sense of authority and wisdom, but there is only one head – that is Christ Himself. I would advise anyone to not think so highly of him or herself that they are above reproach, above the counsel of anyone; but I would also advise that person to not give other people ultimate authority over their life. That ultimate authority is Christ. His title is Lord, which is a self-explanatory title. We are all only human. Even the wisest, most Spirit-filled church leader or friend is human and thus fallible. That means they could be wrong. It also means they could be right. Sometimes it won’t be clear, but take advice for what it is – just something to think about and ponder. Weight it carefully if you think it deserves it. Discard it if you think otherwise. Don’t keep every email you get. Delete some.