{"id":4578,"date":"2010-03-12T10:54:19","date_gmt":"2010-03-12T15:54:19","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=4578"},"modified":"2010-03-12T10:54:19","modified_gmt":"2010-03-12T15:54:19","slug":"burn-it-down-and-walk-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/burn-it-down-and-walk-away\/","title":{"rendered":"Burn it down and walk away"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/burn550.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-large wp-image-4607\" title=\"burn550\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/burn550-465x290.jpg\" alt=\"burn550\" width=\"465\" height=\"290\" \/><\/a>I can\u2019t help but think of the great Zao song, \u201c5 Year Winter,\u201d where the chorus gangs in with that refrain:<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201c\u2026burn it down and walk away. BURN IT DOWN AND WALK AWAY!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I had to consider that the end was near for HM Magazine. The ever-important advertising sales really took a dip a little over a year ago. After four below-our-standard issues in a row, I made the tough decision to lay off our ad sales staff. After taking over for the past year I have done no better. It\u2019s increased my workload to the point where it\u2019s hard to step back and do that business management thing \u2013 looking at profit\/loss statements and tracking income, expenses, etc. We\u2019ve certainly done a lot of trimming of our expenses. I think we\u2019ve cut as much as we can \u2013 especially after cutting areas that weren\u2019t obvious, like looking under rocks and discovering a way to save money.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve long been a proponent of the concept that we are valuable in the Lord\u2019s eyes. I\u2019ve even been called on the carpet by someone on this once, accusing me of theological error for the way I expressed this in a song: <em>\u201cIn His eyes you\u2019re worth every bit of His Only Son.\u201d <\/em>I will stand by that, because it is something I believe wholeheartedly. For example, God didn\u2019t give half of His Son for us. He didn\u2019t meet us halfway. He gave up His Only Son and <em>every bit<\/em> of His physical being. If we doubt our value in God\u2019s eyes, we only need to look at what He paid to ransom us. That kind of love is amazing. For those of us who are parents: can you imagine sacrificing one of your children for the benefit of others? It\u2019s unfathomable. That\u2019s what God the Father did. Amazing&#8230; But my point is that our value comes in who we are. <strong>Our identity is based on who we are, not on what we do.<\/strong> However, when your livelihood is threatened and you have to face the end of your thing (in my case, HM Magazine) it\u2019s easier to preach, teach and share these things than it is to live them. What would it be like to not attend as many shows, not get free music CDs in the mail, not be recognized for my work? These might be pride issues, but they\u2019re also real things that would disappear and not experiencing that would create at least a temporary feeling of loss. It probably wouldn\u2019t be wrong to mourn them for a short period.<\/p>\n<p>The sense of purpose is a huge thing, too. While serving God in any capacity (which might include working for a cat food company, building roofs, collecting garbage, playing professional sports or repairing computers) is rewarding and certainly brings God joy; I get to promote music and art with a life-changing message. In a unique way, it can possibly spread God&#8217;s kingdom in the entertainment realm and in the lives of people all over the place. If that were to stop, it would be a serious hiccup in my routine, to say the least. I know that work is part of our time on earth and the process can be a wonderful thing \u2013 whether it&#8217;s so-called &#8220;secular&#8221; or &#8220;sacred,&#8221; \u2013 I do know that there are people working for Walmart that might dream of doing what I do.<\/p>\n<p>Overall, it\u2019s been a money-where-your-mouth is kind of wakeup call for me. A gut check. Am I willing to lay down HM Magazine?<\/p>\n<h1>If it is Thy will, I will burn it down and walk away.<\/h1>\n<p>There\u2019s no shortcut for this kind of process. Well, actually, there <em>are <\/em>several shortcuts. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s possible to opt out of this type of challenge or struggle. It is possible to just quit or avoid the tough questions. But, deciding to face them \u2013 when the outcome is in question \u2013 is another thing altogether. I can\u2019t say with all certainty that, \u201cHey, I\u2019ve given this thing completely to the Lord and there\u2019s no holding back.\u201d I mean, I <em>have<\/em> come before Him in prayer with that type of surrendering attitude. But I\u2019m not perfect. He knows if my heart is where it needs to be. In my heart, though, I kinda knew that I had to approach Him with a willingness to burn it down and walk away, so to speak. I had to be able to let go of HM Magazine. Yes, it\u2019s a ministry. Yes, it\u2019s a business. Yes, it\u2019s something I enjoy. But sometimes we need to know (maybe for our benefit?) if it\u2019s really His or if it\u2019s really just ours.<\/p>\n<p>Back in December I made an appointment with God. Like my \u201cMt. Sinai,\u201d I had to find a place and spend some time with the Lord and have no agenda but to seek His face and ask about the future of this magazine. One thing I\u2019ve learned about this sort of action is that I believe our whole selves seem to prepare for such a meeting \u2026 and I think God shows up. This is an entirely different theological discussion, but I\u2019ll just say here that God is sovereign. God promises to be near to the broken-hearted and God is available. I don\u2019t think we have to beat on drums or beat on ourselves to have some sort of mystical union with God, but I do think having a contrite heart and an expectant attitude helps.<\/p>\n<p>In my mind, I was convinced I couldn\u2019t play games with God. I had to be real. When I asked Him, \u201cDo you want HM Magazine to end?\u201d I had to be prepared to hear a \u201cYes\u201d reply. I believe I was as open to listen as I could be. I was prepared for either answer. I had a notepad with me. I took notes \u2013 six pages worth. For what it\u2019s worth, I don\u2019t think God wants me to throw in the towel on HM Magazine. So I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n<p>I felt like God was asking me, \u201cWho are you trying to please?\u201d There are many people in the \u201caudience.\u201d With God being one of them, I need to make sure my efforts are to please Him. I want to honor Him by serving His people. I think one thing I can do to help the situation is to tell people how to support HM Magazine. Being practical can be a real good thing.<\/p>\n<p>For the past year or so I\u2019ve been focusing on making sure the content (i.e. \u201cproduct\u201d) of HM was as good as it can be. I\u2019ve also tried to create packages of marketing vehicles that will serve ad clients in a beneficial way, so that after they\u2019ve advertised they feel good about it and want to do it again. In other words, so they\u2019ll get results.<\/p>\n<p>So, even though I got a couple of issues dirty when this pile of magazines fell over on the wet ash pile, I wanted to get a visual of sacrificing the magazine on the altar. As a living sacrifice there is an attitude of giving praise and motivation towards God. I want to embody that and keep learning as I press on.<\/p>\n<p>I just really wanted to share this struggle. Thanks for listening.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_4612\" style=\"width: 475px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/burnthree.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-4612\" class=\"size-large wp-image-4612\" title=\"burnthree\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/burnthree-465x349.jpg\" alt=\"burnthree\" width=\"465\" height=\"349\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-4612\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">yeah...there are 25 years of magazines in this pile...<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So, even though I got a couple of issues dirty when this pile of magazines fell over on the wet ash pile, I wanted to get a visual of sacrificing the magazine on the altar. As a living sacrifice there is an attitude of giving praise and motivation towards God.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[1392],"class_list":["post-4578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-hm-magazine","cat-17-id"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Burn it down and walk away - The Original Heaven&#039;s Metal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/burn-it-down-and-walk-away\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Doug Van Pelt\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/burn-it-down-and-walk-away\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/burn-it-down-and-walk-away\/\",\"name\":\"Burn it down and walk away - The Original Heaven&#039;s Metal\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-03-12T15:54:19+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/#\/schema\/person\/b155afeb7086c8182b3bb3b435e68c4b\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/burn-it-down-and-walk-away\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/burn-it-down-and-walk-away\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/burn-it-down-and-walk-away\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Burn it down and walk away\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/hmmagazine.com\/dvanpelt\/\",\"name\":\"The Original Heaven&#039;s Metal\",\"description\":\"Former Editor-in-Chief. 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